Breaking News: Mexico is not paying for the wall

Now that Donald Trump has set the record straight by declaring that “obviously,” Mexico isn’t going to write a cheque for the border wall, we’ve been wondering if other presidents and famous Americans were also badly misquoted over the years by the fake news media.

The only place to go for a definitive answer is the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library, located in Vladivostok, Russia (“You can see Alaska from here!”). It’s an unusual library because it contains only four titles – thousands of copies of “The Art of the Deal;” a colouring book completed by the young Donald Trump (he was 27 at the time); an English-language version of Vladimir Putin’s autobiography inscribed with “We’ll always have Helsinki;” and a well-thumbed tome named “Famous Tweets of Famous Americans.”

article continues below

Here’s one from George Washington: “Father, I lied. I did chop down the cherry tree. And have you seen what’s left of the apple orchard? That’s the Mexican gardener’s fault.”

Abraham Lincoln: “Four score and seven years ago…”  “That’s like, 47 years ago, right? Right?”

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And I intend to scare the hell out of all of you.”

Harry Truman: “The buck stops as far away from me as possible.”

John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country can do for you. Bigly.”

Martin Luther King Jr.: “I had a dream. About Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, whom I have never met once in my entire life. Twice, maybe.”

Ronald Reagan: “Mr. Gorbachev, build a bigger and more beautiful wall, as beautiful as a wall can be. A great, great wall. And make sure it’s concrete with plenty of rebar. I can get you a deal on the concrete from Vinny and Fredo, a couple of friends from New Jersey.”

P.T. Barnum: “There’s a sucker born every minute.” You betcha!

W.F.

 

Read Related Topics

© Copyright Bridge River Lillooet News

Comments

NOTE: To post a comment you must have an account with at least one of the following services: Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, Google+ You may then login using your account credentials for that service. If you do not already have an account you may register a new profile with Disqus by first clicking the "Post as" button and then the link: "Don't have one? Register a new profile".

The Bridge River Lillooet News welcomes your opinions and comments. We do not allow personal attacks, offensive language or unsubstantiated allegations. We reserve the right to edit comments for length, style, legality and taste and reproduce them in print, electronic or otherwise. For further information, please contact the editor or publisher, or see our Terms and Conditions.

comments powered by Disqus