Saturday April 19, 2014


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Parenting ain’t pretty

How kids can gross you out

Just warning everyone, this column is gross. Readers, beware!!!

I have been parenting full time for almost eight years now and foster parenting for about 10 years. Experience has taught me that being a parent is just plain messy, gross work.

Now I am okay with Most messy and gross things but there are some things in parenting that have had me weak in the knees.

Last weekend was one of those times. I was attempting to drive through downtown Vancouver traffic with a malfunctioning GPS unit when a flu bug decided to hit me. Not a great time to have to, shall we say, void my stomach.

Somehow I made it to the North Shore and headed up Highway 99.

I managed to survive until we hit the Duffey Lake Road. At that point, Ty yelled out he was getting carsick. Great, I groaned...Iím already puking and now he is going to start. Parenting is so gross.

We made it home, thankfully, without further incident. And off to bed we all went. Little did I realize what the next day was going to bring.

The day started, with you guessed it, more puking. There is nothing worse than a sick seven-year-old. Except for a sick, grouchy seven-year-old who is also angry about not taking his pets to church to be blessed And missing his hockey teamís fundraiser. Spending two hours filling sand bags is a lot of fun if you are seven.

Try explaining to a seven-year-old that no one on his team wanted us sickies around. In fact, parents had messaged me begging me to stay away from sand bagging so as not to infect their children with the flu bug.

Now amongst all the sickness of Ty and me, my two-year-old (who was not sick) decided she had forgotten how long it took her to get to the bathroom. So on top of cleaning up vomit, I was also cleaning up peepee accidents. Gross and messy.

Another gross and messy part of parenting is eating. Some children are just naturally neat eaters. They donít spill their food or smear it all over their faces. Some kidlets, on the other hand, are just plain Messy eaters. Their food ends up everywhere: in their hair and other peopleís hair, all over their faces, clothes and the table, or how about in their milk, because they thought dipping their noodles in it was the right thing to do? Gross.

I have actually had to leave the table because of the eating habits of children around me. My stomach just canít handle it.

When it comes to parenting, I am much better at dealing with the blood and gore part of messy and gross. Sink your teeth thru your tongue and nearly sever itÖI can deal with the blood. Wipe out on your bike and rip half of your face off and I am there for you. Get your finger caught in a door and take a chunk out of it, come to me.

But please, if you are going to be sick or spread your dinner everywhere, please try to find another parent to help you out,



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