4.8°C Not observed 
As our school heads into the second semester, I have again been reminded of how important it is to pay attention to our teenagers and help guide them through this important part of their lives.
However, many of you parents and guardians know how busy life is these days. And like all of us, you may sometimes wonder how to maintain a close relationship with your teenagers when they themselves often let you know how much they want to be left alone.
Unfortunately, for many of our young adults, life can really become a “Teenage Wasteland” if we don’t continue to build our relationships with them.
The American organization Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) and insurance companies conduct an annual survey of teenagers in North America to identify ways to help teens make better decisions. Together, they issue an annual report called Teens Today. This year's Teens Today report relates to how teens handle important transitions in their lives and the impact of those "rites of passage" on their decision-making. The report reveals that "high school teens whose parents pay the least attention to significant transition periods such as puberty, school change, and key birthdays are more likely than teens whose parents pay the most attention to engage in high-risk behaviours, including drinking, drug use, early sexual intercourse, dangerous driving, and even suicide. These teens are also twice as likely to report daily stress and appear to be twice as likely to report being depressed and bored."
Despite what they may tell you, relationships with adults are important to teens. Teens whose parents communicate about, recognize and celebrate important transitions report having an extremely close relationship to their parents. They tend to have excellent communication with their parents. They tend to be more influenced by their parents in their decisions about drinking, drugs and all forms of sexual activity.
Furthermore, 83 per cent of teens in this same category report feeling happy every day or almost every day, compared to 49 per cent of those whose parents don't acknowledge key transitions. Sixty-seven per cent also report having a high sense of self, compared to 22 per cent of those who report parental inattention to their rites of passage.
So you may be wondering what do teens consider to be important rites of passage? According to the Teens Today report and some ideas of my own, these transition points or rites of passage include: puberty, moving to a new school, birthdays, getting a driver’s licence, buying a first car, graduating from high school, first dates and of course, making the hockey team. I do not think this list itself is comprehensive, but it gives you an idea of what your teen may consider to be an important rite of passage.
As I mentioned in the opening, it is often easier said than done to give all the attention you would like to your teens. Popular media culture often makes all of us feel that we need to be super moms or super dads in order to measure up. However, many parents find that going for quality instead of quantity allows them to balance both family and other demands. For example, that one big hunting trip or shopping trip each year is way more important to teens than bringing a chocolate bar home for them every night. Likewise, remembering and recognizing the important milestones in your teen’s life is an easy way to continue to build your relationship with them as they strive for greater independence and navigate the wasteland.
Till next month.
